on inner voices..

3 Feb

Ally and I had a brief chat today on the absurd, destructive, and oftentimes brilliantly clever things our inner voices tell us to be true. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand my inner voice, listening to it, trying to sift through the bullshit for useful truths that might help me grow. I’ve also spent some time trying to quiet it, to put my mind at rest so that my Self can come through and just be.

Career-wise, I’m fast approaching that now-or-never point of moving up at my company. My speech thoroughly rehearsed (here’s what I’m interested in, and why, and well, honestly, here are the things I don’t know but want to learn), I keep letting that little voice push me backwards. My boss is too busy. I didn’t shine this week the way I’d like to, so I should kick ass next week and then start the dialogue. Am I sure this is what I want? And yes, I’m positive.

Something I find myself turning to is this book; A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield. The book covers a lot, and is mostly a useful handbook if you’re just starting to explore meditation. But it’s also a helpful reminder to be quiet and let go – not just with your legs folded, your eyes closed and your hands in your lap, but with everything you do. My handsome man’s father has a charming way of signing off in emails; “take ten deep breaths when stressed out!”.  Try it. It takes some of the sting out of things.

Tomorrow, I plan to sit down with my boss, take ten deep breaths and go after my ambitions.

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One Response to “on inner voices..”

  1. Risti February 3, 2010 at 12:10 am #

    Good luck! It can be so tough to go after what you want but you can do it!

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